2010 is off to a roaring start. Actually, it's more of a terrifying start, but I kind of did that to myself on purpose.
Over the last bunch of years, I have watched my weight slowly go up and my level of activity decline. My transition from a waitressing job to a desk job and quitting smoking didn't help matters, they were very good ideas and moved me forward to better things, but weren't great news for my waistline. Although it was a slow process, I was startled to wake up one morning last year to a much doughier and less fit version of my person. In fact, I am perilously close to technically being obese.
My attempts to exercise it off and eat better can be best described as a stutter; nothing really consistent or routine and my food intake has suffered from my impulsive leanings. The mindless eating on the couch, standing and chatting while eating, and overly generous portions, made all my clothes too small.
Most of my childhood, through school and well into my adulthood was full of activity. I was on a swim team for years as a kid. Even as a smoker, I would exercise, take walks, go dancing 4 nights a week and spend a lot of time outside. Once I quit smoking, I started cycling to distract myself from the nicotine withdraws. I would ride for sometimes hours each day, commuting everywhere I wanted to go, mountain biking every chance I got and taking midnight rides alone through Seattle (Once I hit a cat while riding down a hill at 1:30am. It lived, but is still one of the most horrible experiences of my life). Even living in Chicago I commuted by bicycle, drivers gave way and there was grudging acceptance from both sides to live somewhat respectively, if not harmoniously with each other.
Landing back in Southeast Michigan was like landing on a comfy couch in front of the TV. My bike outings got shorter and happened less and less. Riding a bike in the Motor City is heresy and drivers tend to take it upon themselves to right the evil wrongs of cycledom by making it difficult and extremely dangerous to ride the streets. They aim for bikers and make no bones about it. There is little respite away from the concrete, save a few parks in the metro Detroit area overrun by throngs of macho weekend warriors getting their ya-yas out who will draw blood of you get in the way. My activity level plummeted, my intake of bad food and alcohol increased and I got fat.
I have always loved athletes. The Olympics are one of my favorite events in the world, especially the Winter Olympics. Athletes amaze and inspire me, how the body moves is magical to me. Watching people push the boundaries of their whole being to run a little faster or jump a little farther is an amazing thing to watch. The possibilities are consistently being pushed farther and farther. As a kid I would dream of being a professional athlete more often than I would fantasize a life as a famous singer or actor.
I am currently pursuing a degree in Exercise Science. I am lucky enough to have professors who nerd out about the human body more than I do, so learning the physiology of ATP production and the chemistry of the Krebs Cycle is a privilege and a delight. Their fascination of the human body and their experiences of the athletes they've worked with fuel my fire to learn. To go into Athletic Training and work training athletes is a dream I might just be able to accomplish. Pretty incredible.
I am working to relate all that I learn to my own body. A few years ago, I separated my body from my consciousness so I didn't have to think about how out of shape I had gotten. I am slowly reconnecting my head to my body and remembering that much of me exists below the neck. I have been wanting to get back to a good state of training so I can run a 10k or go mountain biking with my husband or challenge myself to run uphill for fun again. But I keep stalling out on my fitness plan and then I just spiral to a very bad place physically and mentally.
On New Year's Eve, I decided to flip my approach. Instead of getting in shape to do these things, I decided to set a large-yet-attainable goal and work to accomplish it. I know this sounds ridiculously basic, set a goal and get to it, but I have never been good as setting attainable goals, just the kind that sound good and are kind of vague like "I want to exercise more" or "I want to write". I decided to be specific, so I signed up for a mini triathlon this June. On June 13 2010, I will swim 500 meters, cycle 20 kilometers and run 5 kilometers, all in a row and all on the same day.
I have succeeded in scaring the shit out of myself and now I work out 5 - 6 days a week. The idea of skipping a day is almost unthinkable, I don't want to fail at this goal because I missed a few days of exercise. Maybe this isn't the best way to motivate, but I have to say that it's effective. I have changed my focus from what my body looks like to what my body can do that I couldn't do a few weeks ago. I feel excited and nervous but I already feel stronger and the idea of finishing the triathlon becomes more real. I actually feel like I'm becoming an athlete, which is really a dream come true.
Happy 2010. Go Me!
