Uncle Tom

This is Tom Waits. He is my favorite on many different levels. Favorite musician, has my favorite hair and hands of any musician, my favorite uncle in my pretend reality, one of my favorite story tellers. I'm sure there are other ways of him fitting into other favorite classifications, but that's enough for right now.

His new album is called Orphans. It's three discs, lots of kick ass pictures, all the lyrics and the best part, gobs of Tom Waits' music. He does a beautiful, achey version of "Goodnight Irene" and "Young at Heart" and tells stories of bull penis dog treats and grieving con artists. I can't shove this album into my brain fast enough.

Go buy it! When I was at the record store buying three copies of Orphans the day it came out (last Tuesday), I was told by the wonderful men who work at said record store that this album is a limited printing. They received a press release saying that was it, they shall print no more.

So please my children, go feast upon the exquisite flesh of Orphans.

Cat booty

This is Ethel (aka- Effie). She is a slightly posessed stuntwoman and collector of things. She stores her findings (which are mostly things stolen from me) in the kitchen vent. I've been meaning to put a cover on this open vent, but I am so entertained by her pilfering, that I just can't bring myself to do it.

Every month or so, I clean out the vent. Who knows why she chooses what she chooses to make off with and hide in there, but it's an endless source of giggling for me and my friends. What is most fun is thinking about what she plans on doing with these things, because I'm pretty sure she has a purpose for everything. She's just that kind of cat.

So, I thought I'd share with you what I've pulled out from what is now known as 'Effie's Vent'.


-A coupon for Toll House chocolate morsels
-Dried flower petals
-A disposable plastic top from a 5 gallon bottle of water
-2 lottery tickets. One was chewed to bits.
-A twist tie
-Cigarette wrappers
-A bottle of green tea extract
-A masticated fragment of a dog toy
-Popcorn wrappers
-A lid to a Classico spaghetti sauce jar
-A pin that reads "Artists Make Lousy Slaves"
-Keys to my truck
-Kindersuprise
-Bubble Gum lip balm
-A pedometer
-Instruction manual for pedometer
-Barettes
-A hose clamp
-A safety pin
-Mini picture frame

This is John Frusciante. He is a guitar hero. I got to see him play last Friday night with his band, the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Back in the day, I was a rabid RHCP fan and between the ages of 17 and 21 couldn't listen to Uplift Mofo Party Plan nearly enough to suit me.

My boisterous fandom has faded over the years, I will love them forever, but they are no longer my messiah. I still get a burst of sunshine in my torso every time I listen to Uplift Mofo, Freaky Styley and even Mother's Milk, but I've realized that no other human can be the knight-in-shining-armor that I can make myself, for myself. That's, at the same time, the saddest and the happiest discovery I have ever made in my life.

Then again, every time I see John play and hear him sing, I believe it's possible to be saved by a guitar shredding stranger.

Fo' Shizzle

As much as I wan't going to do it, I had to put a political rant in here.

My brother lives in Arkansas, yet another state that sided with the Democrats on Tuesday. "Hell," he wrote in an email to me, "even the damn coroner is a Democrat". He told me he was shot a look of death from a co-worker because my brother had the gall to swing into the office Wednesday morning singing a very happy tune. Said co-worker is a Republican and had no tolerance for his glee. Well, hearing that just flipped my switch (or switched my flip) and this was my raging response to his co-worker's scowling:

'I flatly refuse to take any crap from the GOP as they have had more than enough time to show themselves as capable leaders. In their wake they have left scandal after scandal, an environmental travesty, a skyrocketing deficit, attempts to tear down civil rights, a horrible dependence on foreign oil, a public education disaster, a war we will have to spend billions getting out of and that has created more terrorists than this world has known for some time, and shattered foreign relations that will take years to mend. They have repeatedly proven that they are unfit for office. Shame on them and up theirs.'

After reading my email, my brother urged me to put it on my blog, encouraging me with a 'fo' shizzle'. How could I say no to that?

Super Happy Fun Time Stuff

Every now and again (like today for example) I'm going to tell you about my favorite things that I think more people should know about. Some are old, some are new, some are merely passing fancy and some are snugly rooted in the cockles of my heart. Here are a couple:


The lovely man pictured is Kid Beyond who has a magical mouth. I know, it sounds like I'm making a reference to doing it, but it's not that kind of thing. He makes wonderful music with his mouth and only his mouth (oh yeah, and microphone). No musical insturments, no other musicians. I had the delightful pleasure of seeing him perform a few weeks ago and I (a stubborn music snob) was blown away. He loops and layers, raps and sings, beat boxes and harmonizes and generally kicks much ass. And he's a fun, kind, cool human to boot. By all means, check him out, your soul will thank you forever.

http://www.kidbeyond.com/


Favorite cosmetic this week:

LUSH Fresh Handmade Cosmetics.
This week I started to weight train again and they have this massage bar called Wiccy Magic Muscles that has cinnamon oil to soothe those achey thigh muscles that don't even want to walk me down a flight of stairs properly. Smells like the best cinnamon bun you have ever had in your life. www.lush.com

Thank the higher powers for such delights!

Behind the barn

Much to my chagrin, I have no pictures on my blog.

Ohh! Goody Two Shoes just started playing on my ipod! Whee!!

Anyhow, I have a computer at my house, a sweet and gentle granite colored Mac, who desperately needs to be taken out behind the barn and put down. She is about 6 years old, is extremely tired and needs a Hoveround to get me on the "intertent". This little lady can remember EVERYTHING, but can't fathom the idea of posting a blog entry. So, in order for me to publish my blog, I have to either write while at work (scandalous!) on a computer that has no problem publishing my meager blog entries, or I have to write everything on my sweet, old lady Mac at home, send it to my work email, download it and publish it from work.

I have asked for a new computer for Christmas. Then again I have also asked for a day at the spa, a plane ticket to go see my brother, a huge gift certificate to Sephora, a bio-drum continuous use composter and a horse. I'll let you know what lands under the tree.

For now, my dears, it's just my words that will have to keep you coming back.

Squishing through the synapses

My brain is a funny thing. I lived in L.A. for about two years and up until my last visit, I could have found my way around the city in a cyclone with one eye missing and a Trader Joe's bag over my head. This last trip, I felt like I had landed on a different planet and none of the Martians looked familliar. More than once during my stay, I asked my friend Mark (a local) about brand new buildings that apparently been there for decades. Maybe they hid behind a fire hydrant every time I drove around the corner on my way to work at 20/20 Video on Sunset, because I was positive I'd never seen them while I lived there.

I flatly refuse to buy into the well digested idea that your brain gets fuzzy as you age. At this decade in my life, I am breezing through numbers and equations like a MENSA madwoman. Previously in my life, facing these same eqations and number problems would not only stun my brain, but make me desire intensive therapy. True trauma. Now, I enjoy these brain challenges and I subscribe to a few different puzzle magazines that light up my mailbox, and my life, every other month.

So I can't remember the gigantic blue and green building in West Hollywood that was built ten or fifteen years ago. Who cares? It will be there, it's not going anywhere, and everytime I go to L.A., it'll be new and exciting and I'll re-discover all the new places I've been to a million times.

God bless my squishy grey matter.

SBQC

I stick my home made flag into this chunk of non-solid ground in cyber space and claim it as mine!

Being the Supreme Benevolent Queen Czar of my personal universal, I am looking forward to ruling all that I see. But for now, I need to go to bed so I can wake up, rock my Turbo Jam and go to work at 9a.m. to look at Excel spreadsheets, and an antiquated Sidekick 98 car schedule file.

But I will wear my crown all day at the office.