Girls, girls girls

This may be old news to some and actually it's old news to me as well. Between my back yard beautification project, my social life and work, this is the first chance I've had to update my blog.

The old news is, Danica Patrick won an IndyCar race. She's the first woman in history to do so. I'm not a fan of racing but as a fan of women, I love that she won.

As expected, there have been rumblings around the racing world, one of which came from another racer, Robby Gordon. He said that Danica had an unfair advantage because she only weighs 100 pounds whereas most of the other racers, being men and all, weigh closer to 200 pounds. "The lighter the car, the faster it goes...I won't race against her until the IRL does something to take the advantage away." Gordon said.

I understand that there is overt sexism that is ingrained in people, mistaken for our cultural norm. I hate it, and think it's completely stupid, but I'm aware that it's there. I expected there to be some men grumbling about Danica winning. Her victory is a kick in the tighty whiteys to a sport that has been a hard core boys club for a long time. As people will do when change is coming to their town, they tend to lock the doors. Especially the locals in charge who are used to running the show.

What I find most frustrating about Gordon's complaint is that he wants the rules changed now. It never occurred to him to go on a binge of not eating, or start forcing himself to throw up after every meal, or overdose on laxatives to drop weight. He didn't think to risk his health and do whatever he had to do to stay competitive. The thought never crossed his mind. Instead, he went to work to change the rules.

That frustrated me because women do these types of things to themselves all the time. We are constantly told that if we want something badly enough, we will do whatever it takes. Women starve themselves to be faster athletes, to live up to false beauty standards, to be accepted by someone else in one way or another. Feminists have been fighting for years to have the playing field leveled, yet roadblocks are put up time after time. We are told that we are just bitter and hateful toward men, that we want "special" rights, that we women just aren't as good as men, that we are worth 70% of the salaries men make because, (according to John McCain) women need "more education and training". When we stop taking the world out on ourselves and start working to make it a better place for everyone, that's when we hear the backlash.

So Danica, whether you consider yourself a feminist or not, I don't care. You stand your little, fit frame on the podium and bask in the moment that you kicked the crap out of everyone one else on the course that day.

Ladies, I propose we stop beating up on ourselves and put that energy to good use. Let those boys who want to argue over weight restrictions in IndyCar racing, play golf at the country clubs that don't allow us in and use their bigger salaries to buy stuff they don't need to impress people they don't like anyway. Let them have that crap, let's you and I take over the world.

Full of it

I have been getting all over my own ass about being a cantankerous wanker all the time. I compare myself to the me of my early twenties when I remember never suffering road rage, living the life credo, 'live and let live' and feeling kindly toward most of the people on the planet. The people who I didn't think kindly on, I refrained from thinking about much at all.

Nowadays, I feel that I obsess about all the things that I don't like in this world and that those things are everywhere. I feel like I know more than I want to, have memories that I want to give back and do not suffer fools gladly, if at all. My patience wears thin and I give myself a hard time about the influx of negative thoughts in my head. From there, it just spirals.

Apparently, all of this negativity is well contained in my head, because those closest to me just don't see the glut of the growly that I feel I emanate.

This perspective was brought to my attention today when Goat told me that I was full of love. I was taken aback when he first said it, but when I thought about the evening's conversation, it struck me that he was right.

Since arriving at his house just over four hours ago, I have gone into detail about how and why I love the following things. Mind you, this is no mere "oh, I love that" throw away line, but conversations about the whys and hows of my love for these things.

- The pot roast Goat made for dinner
- Drag Kings (especially Harry Dodge)
- The dessert Goat made (brownies)
- The B side of Steely Dan's "Gaucho"
- The A side of David Bowie's "Low"
- Last night's furniture rearranging
- Snorkeling
- The wedding dress I found online that I want to wear should Goat and I get hitched
- Dancing with the dogs in the kitchen to The Upsetters

Now, for self-professed grouch, a girl who feels both way too old for her age and incurably pessimistic, that's a lot of love to spill around a house in one evening. Maybe what I hear in my head isn't as bad or as thick as it seems. Maybe I shed a few layers of gripes on my vacation, left them to be neutralized by the salt water and sun. I do have to say, I've been feeling lighter since I got home. Hell, maybe it's the brownies talking.

Getting that comment from Goat was like a shot in the arm, so to speak. It felt like that first day after winter but right before spring when it's snowy, but you realize that for the the first time in months, the sun actually feels warm.

Love. I'm full of it.

Freckles!

There and back again. My freckles have already faded.

My trip to Turks and Caicos ruled. It was a true vacation where I actually relaxed, read a whole book in a week, snorkeled, and exercised sloth. Is it actually possible to exercise sloth? Isn't that a contradiction in terms?








Goat and I spent a solid 10 days together, the longest of our relationship, and our partnership is still in tact. It speaks to the depth at which I am in deep with this man. I'm a girl short on patience and long on personal space issues.






This picture shows me snorkeling in the foreground. I was looking for lunch.